Attraction, Attention & Flow
Why do we have more affinity for some people than others? What is attraction really about? Our mind says many things. We have many preferences, stories and opinions and we could think about them all day. I’m talking about something else.
Ever notice how animals and kids gravitate toward some people and avoid others? They’re really clear about it. They don’t think it through, they just respond. What are they responding to?
We’ve already discussed the difference between going with gut feelings versus the story we have in our heads about what should and shouldn’t like. It’s awkward when we feel something we can’t put words to much less justify., especially when our gut response and our mind’s response don’t match! This experience is confronting, mystifying and common.
When I put my hands on a patient, my own nervous system tells me how their system is responding to me much the same way a horse knows whether the rider is nervous or not. When I feel settled, clear, grounded and hold intent for the highest good, patients’ bodies open up. They show me how their systems want to be supported, and my system reminds them of the grounded state they’re seeking so they can “locate” it again.
I notice now after practicing for a good number of years that we can participate in this kind of exchange even when we’re not touching one another. What’s happening?
While not in the range of hearing or sight, we send and receive signals constantly. The waves that a radio picks up for instance are traveling through the air all the time, but we don’t hear them unless we have a receiver. Bodies are both transmitters and receivers for a broad spectrum of signals than we typically don’t think — or feel — about.
How we exchange these signals is not fully understood. One thing we know though is that our sending and receiving develops precision when we learn to pay attention to our feelings and to subtle and sometimes not so subtle changes in our physiology.
For example, when we’re near someone who doesn’t feel safe, our belly or chest might tighten and we might feel repelled. Conversely, when we’re near someone who feels safe and loving, we’re likely to feel good, breathe more easily and want more. Likewise when we feel benevolent and receptive, people want to be around us.
Truth is resonant. When we have feelings of anger and hurt, rather than try to hide these for fear of putting others off we can share what we’re feeling in an honest and vulnerable way. The truth feels safe. Sharing our feelings without blaming and making others wrong is a powerful and rare level of honestly that is very intimate and very healing. The truth is a clear and powerful signal.
Pay attention to how the truth feels in your body. When you can feel it, others can feel it. It feels clear, resonant, and powerful. When we lack clarity and focus, incoming signals are missed and outgoing signals become weak, scrambled, and lacking in flow, resonance and appeal.
Attention is a superpower! Take some moments today to put attention on sensations that arise in your body, and feel your responses to people and situations. The simple act of feeling begets more feeling and elicits “flow,” a state of being that evokes clarity and wisdom. You may find you have more discernment, confidence and appeal than you realized.
I’d love to hear how it goes!